Why, Hello Again!

Well, I haven't written anything since October. This past semester ate me alive. With 20 credit hours, 2 jobs, my AmeriCorps work at the Global Refugee Center, my Soliya training, and all of the church things I'm involved in... where has the time gone?!

Nevertheless, here's a little summary of life in my world lately...

My work at the Global Refugee Center is going amazingly well! I cannot even describe to you how much of my heart each of my little people have. They are wonderful, special little darlings, and I adore every one of them!

To the right is a picture of a few of our kiddos (Reyubeni aka Batman, Julie, Valeria, Rosemary, Sae Meh, and Lex) and some of my wonderful volunteers (Marcus, Krista, Brittany, and Martin).







In November, I got the opportunity to represent the Global Refugee Center at the Engaged Scholars' Symposium at UNC. I was so excited and nervous about it! I ended up getting to have two tables side by side, one for the GRC and one featuring my project there, the Little Learners! It was such an honor to get to represent the GRC in the poster board presentation part of the symposium.

If that wasn't enough, I also got to help Tsigereda, the case manager at the GRC, represent the GRC at the round table discussions.

Also, I will be doing my honors' thesis as an applied project at the GRC. This is going to be a ton of work, but I am so excited for it! After attending a training session for the International Language Program, I had the idea that a method similar to the one they use might really help our beginner ESL students at the GRC. I'll post more about this topic later!

In other news, I just completed my Soliya Advanced Facilitator Training. It was truly an amazing experience. This is definitely a program I believe in and fully support, and it is so great to get to be a part of it! I could be facilitating in the spring! We shall see!

Last piece of news: a youth pastor of a church in the Philippines that is associated with my church contacted me recently to see if I would come to help with their youth camp! I am beyond excited for this, and I'm desperately hoping I'll be able to go! If so, I'd be there for a week in April. Hope and pray with me that it'll happen!

Until next time...

~~~I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring~~~

Quick Update!

So much to share!!

-We're back in session at the Global Refugee Center!
-My basic training for Soliya has ended and advanced training will begin soon...
-I'm loving my classes this semester (most of them anyway).
-Volunteered at a study abroad/world expo event on campus... I want to go somewhere asap!
-I got my official acceptance to teach abroad next fall!

I don't have much time to tell about these things now, but I plan on writing more about all this on Saturday!!

The Drudgery of Life...

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything, and honestly, it's because I didn't feel like I really knew what to say. The opportunities I spoke of towards the end of my last post, "Much Required" seemed small and insignificant every time I tried to write them.

I did try to write them several times. My posts all began something like this:
"The way I see it, if you try to reach a certain goal and it is in the will of God, He'll make sure you have opportunities in place to get you there. Upon returning to UNC in the fall, all of the students who had studied abroad were required to attend a "re-entry" session where we talked about our experiences. It was there that I discovered the possibility of international teaching, or teaching abroad. Immediately, I was drawn to this path for my future. After giving it some thought and prayer, I met up with an adviser about it and started setting my educational path to lead to this goal. To fall right in line with that, I soon got a job teaching in an after school program at an elementary school nearby. I loved it so much, and each and every one of my kiddos meant the world to me. I was excited to see where this would all lead me."

While all that is great, and I had been wanting to share that information with everyone, it hardly seemed sufficient for a blog post (especially when you consider the nature of some of my other posts). So I never posted about it.

I ended up falling back into the drudgery of life in the fall semester. I went to classes, went to my jobs (I also worked at Kohl's), went to church, and went through the motions. It's not like I was depressed or anything; I just wanted so much more out of life. I wanted to squeeze it and get every little drop of wonderfulness out of it that I possibly could. But that wasn't happening.

I felt really alone and empty too. I had given up what I once saw as the most meaningful relationship in my life because I felt like it was what God wanted, and frankly, I found myself pretty friendless. See, I started dating that guy about two months after I first moved to Greeley, so he and his family were really the only people I spent time with up here. I had no close friends at school. And people I knew from church are sprinkled across Northern Colorado. So while I was diving into God, I still felt alone and lacking.

But the semester winded down. I met with advisers about classes to take in the spring, met with my honors adviser to make sure I was staying on track with the program, and signed up for a slew of English major classes that I was sure would eat me alive. My boss offered me a promotion for the next semester from "children's activity leader" to "children's activity director" meaning that instead of showing up and teaching material someone else gave me, I would plan and write the curriculum, schedule the activity leaders, and basically just run the show. I accepted and quit my job at Kohl's.

And then I went home for the holidays. Winter break was so uneventful that it's really all just a blur in my memories, even though it was only a short five months ago. There was one thing I had to make sure to do though: sign up for an honors class. So I pulled out the piece of paper I had scribbled on. "Confluence of Cultures." It sounded interesting. So I went to register for it. I was surprised when the system gave me an error message saying I needed instructor approval. I emailed the professor asking him about it, and he responded that he limits the number of students in the class by requiring that students apply with one paragraph consenting to take on the course work and one paragraph describing why they are interested in the course. So I checked out the syllabus he sent, which entailed one book after another and one paper after another, a couple big projects, several guest speakers, several documentaries, and a two hour a week commitment to Soliya (which I found to be a sort of video conference call online). I replied to his email with the paragraphs and got accepted to the class. I didn't think much of it; it was just a class that met the requirements. But it ended up being so much more...

Much Required

Upon returning to Colorado, I was consumed with wanting to go back to Lithuania. It was my every thought. I'm sure I got on my friends' and family's nerves talking about it. But it's where I want to be, where I need to be, and I have no doubt about that. With this massive goal in front of me, it's difficult not to be intimidated and overwhelmed. I know God will help me get there, but I am faced with the question, What do I do to get there?

During the couple weeks following my return to Colorado that I had before fall semester started, I took some time to relax and do things I enjoy like writing, reading, drawing. I also had to unpack (yes, that was a huge feat in itself... you should have seen my suitcase) and reorganize my chaotic room. Then I had to repack to move back up north to Greeley. After moving back to Greeley is when everything really started...

I began to feel the drudgery of life, as everything within me longed to be back in Lithuania actually doing something that mattered, but here I was in Greeley going to class, coming home, hanging out with friends, going to church. I felt like I was making a difference and doing something when I was in Lithuania. What was I doing here? What was the point? These were not good feelings at all. Soon came a very timely sermon titled "Actively Waiting," and I realized that more than anything, I needed to just stay involved and do all I could while I'm here waiting. So I took a deep breath and decided to focus on the now instead of the later.

However, with focusing on "the now," I began to see some things in my life that needed to be changed if I wanted to get to "the later." The first thing I changed was the consistency of my walk with God. I had a fairly regular prayer life before, but somehow it mattered even more now. I had to keep the communication lines open with God, praying without ceasing. Additionally, I had to get better with my Bible reading habits. I decided that the Bible should be read more than any other book on any day, and as a college student with tons of reading to do, that was a difficult task. However, although not easy, these things have been totally worth it.

The more difficult change came from weeding things out of my life. I began to notice some little changes that needed to be made, and the most difficult things about those was just developing better habits. The more consistent prayer life and Bible reading helped tremendously with that, as good habits took the place of bad ones. The hardest thing to remove from my life was relationships. Honestly, I had a few that needed to become less important to me so they'd be less influential. But there was one that had to be severed completely.

You may see it as drastic, but I see it as obedient. I was in a relationship that was getting more and more serious, and I honestly saw myself staying with him and marrying him. However, it became apparent that I had a choice to make. I couldn't stay with him and follow God's plan for my life. The two happening together was just impossible. As many ways as I tried to make it work in my head, it just couldn't in reality. I'd been praying about our relationship, but my prayers became more consistent, and more desperate as I sought a definite clarity during this time. Few people know the specifics of this, but finally, in frustration, I gave God a kind of list of demands, "If you don't want me to stay with him, do this, this, and this!" I know it's okay to pray specifically, but I did it the wrong way and in the wrong attitude. Still, God answered it in all its specifics within hours (when I had demanded "within a week"). Soon thereafter, I made the decision I needed to: I chose God over him.


Throughout this journey, part of a Scripture from my earlier Bible quizzing years has been constantly on my mind. "For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required." Luke 12:48

As I've prepared myself spiritually to move forward with God's plan for my life, I've also been making sure I'm on the right path to end up where I need to as far as with school, career goals, etc. Some great opportunities have opened up to me, and I'm excited for all that's happening. But I'll save that exciting news for the next post.

Home Sweet Home... Alone: Some Closing Thoughts

When I got home on Thursday, August 2, my family was away camping. Although I was more than anxious to see them, I got some much needed alone time.

I know I've already talked about some reverse culture shock, and after my stay in New York and Missouri, I was already reclimatized to the United States enough. But being home though adds something to the mix. I'm having some pretty condradictory feelings. There's so much to say, I hardly know where to begin...

I learned that I'm more capable and independent than I thought. I also learned that there will always be people I need to rely on, especially my church family. I took on traveling alone well enough, and I even thought I'd do alright in London by myself, but I was glad to find church family around the world to be there for me. In Lithuania, I found myself far more bold than I expected. I was okay with getting around, going places alone, and asking questions. It definitely drew me out of my shell. But again, I was greatful for my church family who made my stay incredibly more enjoyable and fulfilling.

I also learned a lot about culture and cultural differences. The program at ISM threw groups together from various countries, forcing us to work together and attempt to bridge the gaps and see eye to eye. This experience definitely helped me understand and appreciate the differences between people.

This leads me to say a little about my thoughts on globalization. I honestly didn't have too much of a positive or negative view of globalization before my travels, and now I can say much the same, only with a little more thought backing it up. I think globalization is a good thing in the aspects for what it can to for an economy. One of the friends I made in Lithuania at the church told me that in recent years, a lot of Lithuanian young people have been leaving the country to try to get a better chance for work elsewhere. Globalization can help this in a sense, possibly bringing more jobs to the country and thus boosting the economy. However, I understand that globalization can be detremental to a society's culture. All things considered, globalization is a good thing as long as the people of a society can hold firm to their culture and its elements.

After this experience and learning about people and places around the world, coming home to Colorado was bittersweet. I love this state, and I've lived here my entire life, but it almost felt like returning to a little box when I have had a chance to explore and venture much further out. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be back, but I feel like a bird that just was made to return to a cage. Nonetheless, I am excited to return to UNC in the fall.

I do plan on returning to Lithuania, and if you want that whole story, read "The Bigger Picture: A God Thing," a post on this blog that you can get to by following this link:  http://growinglobal.blogspot.com/2012/07/bigger-picture-god-thing.html

I'm excited for what the future holds, and I definitely recommend an experience like this for everyone who has the chance.

Kryzus Kalnas

Ever since I saw a picture in the "Looking at Lithuania" book we checked out from the library, I really wanted to go to The Hill of Crosses. Unfortunately, it's in Siauliai, which is over 200 km. from Vilnius. One of the other girls from UNC went to see it last week one day, and she said it was completely worth it. Friday was my opportunity, so I looked into bus and train schedules.

I left the hostel a little after 6 in the morning to walk to the train station. After asking a particularly helpful gentleman at the train station, I bought my ticket. My train left Vilnius at 6:45 and arrived in Siauliai around 9:20. I again asked questions and figured out how to get to the bus station, which was about a 10 minute walk in the rain. Luckily, I had my umbrella with me. After encountering more helpful people and finding out the bus I would take would leave at 10:25, I went into a shopping center and bought something I could eat for lunch later on. The bus ride was only 3 litas, and the bus driver let me know where to get out. The elderly lady I was sitting next to told me, "Kryzus Kalnas, walk there," and pointed at a road trailing off the main road.

I was a little concerned. It looked like I was in the middle of no where, I couldn't see even a glimpse of a hill, and it was pouring rain. I ended up walking with a Japanese lady who had gotten off of the bus as well. It was about a 2 km walk, and in the rain that was a lot worse. I don't think my friends and family in Colorado can quite comprehend the magnitude of the rain here. It's crazy! Even with the umbrella, I was soaking wet by the time I saw the hill in the distance.

Words cannot describe the wonder of that place. There are thousands, maybe millions of crosses. There are literally crosses hanging on crosses hanging on crosses. It's hard to even fathom. To me, it was a symbol of a solid, unwavering, undying, persistent faith tying together generations of people from several cultures and beliefs. It's simply amazing.

When I got back, I went straight to the church for music practice. It was our last, as camp starts on Monday. I have to say, singing in Lithuanian, a language I didn't know a word of before this trip, has been quite the challenge. But I'm getting there... I think.

Later that night, we said goodbye to Maryna, our new friend from Ukraine. AnnaRose and I walked her to the bus station, where she left around 10.

We then spent Anna's last night in Vilnius just hanging out and relaxing. We grabbed a snack and walked the streets until dark, so we could get some pictures of the Cathedral at night.

Back at the hostel, there were only three of us girls left. AnnaRose would leave at 4 the next morning, and Jessica would leave the next night. I would leave the next day to stay with the Millers until camp. We talked a little about our days. Jessica had gone with a couple others to the Soviet statue park and to a zoo. AnnaRose had gone to the castle at Trakai with Maryna. After telling each other about our adventures, we all said our goodbyes and went to sleep, content.

And So It Begins...

Monday was the first day of classes. Pastor Miller drove me to ISM University in Old Town Vilnius, and the Millers' sons, Taylor and Tyler, rode along. At this point, leaving the Millers was like leaving a security blanket. I didn't know what the day would hold, but I went into it with an uncomfortable uncertainty and an extreme lack of confidence.

I got to the room where classes would be held, room 410, and no one was there. It was 8:30, and class didn't start until 9, but I expected people to be there already. I sat on a bench in the hallway waiting. Soon, people began to show up. There are five other students from my university, The University of Northern Colorado (UNC), and although I didn't know them, I recognized a couple of them. There are also a couple other Americans who immediately fell into place with us. Unintentionally, we ended up sitting in such a way that one side of the room seemed to be American, and the other side Portuguese. There were also two girls from here in Lithuania, and one girl from Ukraine.

We had a short introduction at the beginning of the class, and then our professor, Benas Adomavicius, dove right in to our "International Marketing" class. That class goes from 9:00-12:15, and then we go have lunch. After this, we have Alfredas Chmieliauskas from 1:30-4:45 for "International Project Management." In this class, we broke into groups on the first day and were assigned articles to read and give presentations on.

My group consisted of a girl from UNC, named AnnaRose, and two Portuguese girls, Carolina and Rita. Our presentation would be the following day, yes Tuesday, our second day of class, and we would be first.

I've found these classes to be challenging, not in an impossible way, but they definitely get you thinking. As a student who has not taken many business courses in management yet, I am most definitely treading in unfamiliar territory. However, although they are somewhat demanding, I am enjoying them very much. I'm just grateful for the opportunity to be here.